GETTING TO KNOW YOU

Having taken the "evening shift" most nights with Mother and having had more quiet time on the floor, I have become acquainted with several of the nurses over this extended stay in ICU and PCU and have been generally impressed and touched by the care and attention she has received. 

Last night, upon arriving on the Rehab floor, we were in her room for almost an hour before any nurse came in. (We had clearly left the climate of high maintenance care to a climate of fostering independence care!) When the nurse did arrive, she seemed a little testy and basically said she couldn't touch Mother or even really talk to her until she showed up in the computer. It was as if she was saying that Mother didn't really exist until the computer said she did! Because Mother was tired, her speech wasn't clear. The nurse turned to me and asked me questions about her as if she wasn't there--or wasn't all there-- as if she was just another 90-year old woman who didn't have her wits about her. I thought to myself, this nurse has no idea who just moved in! Oh, the power of first impressions! 

I have watched over the past few weeks how first impressions have changed once staff started seeing Mother as an individual. And then there's Nurse Brenda who, even in ICU right after her surgery with tubes everywhere and no way to communicate, saw straight through the drug/pain confusion to Anita's spirit. Nurse Brenda loves taking care of individuals, and they know it.

All in all, Anita has her way of dispelling assumptions pretty quickly. Her knack of looking for the uniqueness of the individual in front of her invites them to do the same with her. As a bonus, the head of rehab, Dr. Julia Michaels,  just happens to be a good friend of Anita's, and  accordion playing for the other patients has all but been put on the calendar!

A recent TED talk speaks to these kinds of assumptions from first impressions as "the single story." To see the video of this compelling Kenyan storyteller speaking of The Danger of the Single Story, click here.

http://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story.html

I take these experiences as a healthy reminder for me to look each person I meet in the eye where I will find and individual that defies a "single story."